It is Saturday. It is cold outside. The sun is shining. We are warm inside. Today it was time to do our housecleaning chores. After all, the Jayhawks play basketball this afternoon, and we want to be ready to watch and cheer them on.
Back to cleaning. We do have a division of labor. One of my chores is the dusting. (Swiffer dusters do a very good job.) Dusting is a bit of a chore because of the stuff and things we have. It has taken a while to accumulate all of these treasures.
I was in the midst of dusting the shelves of the bookcase, when I took some time to look at the photos I was dusting.
[Left side of bookcase] The photo of famille Duez, taken in their home in Dijon, France, brought back many fond memories. It brought a smile to my face and joy into my heart. The amitie stitchery was a gift from Majo to Maryann. it is a sign of thier eternal friendship. There are photos here of friends, children, relatives and their children. There is even a photo of Maryann and me from a number of years ago. Do you see the photo of Hazel? It is near the Angel pillow. Both of these items are special. The pillow is a handmade gift from Shannon. Thanks. Oh, and there are books, too.
The center section holds some special photos too. You can probably guess that there are photos of Maryann and me as children. The small photo of the young men in uniform show my grandsons who decided to join the military after high school. The Marine will be returning from Iraq soon, the Sailor will be going there in April. My grand daughter is also among the gallery. This where the music CD's are kept. Oh, and there are books, too.
[Right side of bookcase] Here we have the complete, up-to-date collection of Sue Grafton novels. We do like mysteries. This section is next to my computer work station. Among the many items there are two which I am quite proud to have earned. One is my certificate designating me a Second Degree Reiki practioner. The other is the only golfing trophy I have ever earned. It was given at the RMPO annual golf tourney in Augusta, GA, last September. It recognizes the MOST ATHLETICALLY CHALLENGED TEAM. I did post a photo of it back then.
Maryann did something she doesn't often do, she played an old Johnny Mathis record. (Yes, the vinyl kind, thank you very much.) The old console sounds very good. It is about 40+ years old. After listening to Johnny, and as I was dusting in the room with the music, Maryann asked if I wanted to play one of my old records. Well, I'm up for a challenge. June Christy's album, Something Cool was one of my favorites. I played and kept dusting. Then I started to pay attention to the lyrics. The tears and sobs soon came. It reminded me of my late mother as things might have happened in her life. You can listen to it here.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. The depth of my emotions surprised both Maryann and me. Jane led an interesting life, but then you have read some of her exploits right here. If not, just use the Jane label. There are 38 postings, including this one.
Now back to the question what brings joy and emotions. Your heart and soul. It is a human blessing to be able to be emotional.
And you all probably thought that dusting was a mundane task. Well you can never tell when the joy or sadness or love or tears or laughter will strike you. Be on the lookout, for as June says in the lyrics - "It can happen to you".
Mom told me a couple of tales about train trips she had taken. She usually enjoyed it when she was young. She preferred the train to air travel.
Trip One:
The first trip occurred when Jane was around 10 years old. She was traveling from Johnstown to Harrisburg in the winter time. She was dressed in a woolen skirt with woolen socks and warm underwear. Jane loved to travel on the train by herself because of the attention she received.
At the time children did not usually travel alone. Her father, Jack, knew both the conductor and one of the porters. Jack tipped the porter to keep an eye on Jane. The conductor was the father of one of Jane’s friends. They both were happy to keep an eye on her during the journey.
Jack had bought her a new book to read on the trip. She was busy reading and enjoying the book when a woman passenger decided to join her. Apparently, the woman was a bit concerned about a child traveling alone. At one point the woman took the book from Jane and began reading to her. This really annoyed Jane, and complained to the conductor who told the woman to leave her alone. When the woman protested, the conductor said that if she didn’t go back to her own seat and leave the child alone, she would be put off the train at the next stop. With that the woman complied.
Trip Two:
The second train trip took place much later. By this time she was married and had two sons. It happened on a Christmas Eve during WWII. As best as she can remember it was 1944. We were traveling from Georgia to Florida. It was a time when segregation was a fact of life in the South. The train was full and the color line was blurred because of it.
Among the passengers there were four young black soldiers who decided to sing Christmas carols. There voices were absolutely beautiful, and the soldiers were celebrating the season the best way they knew how. Most of the passengers appreciated their effort
A middle-aged, well to do Southern woman, decided that she couldn’t travel with “them” in the same car. She complained to the conductor. She made it quite clear that the singing was interfering with her sleep and she was not pleased to be riding in the same car with “them”. She complained to the conductor about her sleep. The conductor told her that there were no sleeping compartments available, and that she would just have to go back to her seat and make the best of it. The woman continued to complain and that annoyed the rest of the passengers who were enjoying the music.
The conductor had about as much as he could take and told the woman that if she didn’t go to her seat and remain there she would be put off of the train and the next stop. Well, as you might imagine, the woman pulled herself up to her most powerful stance and said he could not do that. She further informed the conductor that the Vice President of the rail road line was a friend of hers and she would report him. He said that was fine with him and he would be pleased to all the VP himself. This did not slow the woman down, so the next stop somewhere in rural Florida the woman was deposited on the station platform with her luggage to await the next train through.
The train then continued as did the music. The rest of the passengers were pleased with the conductor. And, the music was greatly appreciated. #437
My brother went back to the nursing facility where mom passed away. He decided to donate her clothing to the facility for the use of other residents. Apparently there are some indigent folks there and the clothing are helpful.
He took time to visit with one of the staff who was present when mom died. He wanted to know if mom was in any discomfort at her passing. Since it was almost a month, he figured he would get an accurate accounting. Michelle indicated that mom was in no pain. When asked if she could see anything, mom answered, "I see wonderful trees and a beautiful lake." Those were her last spoken words, and she passed peacefully. Now this is rather significant, since mom has been legally blind for the past 10 years at least. Her Macular degeneration got so bad that she could barely see peripheral movement. My brother was comforted by the information.
We can only guess at the significance of that statement. You can read into it whatever you choose. We like to think that she had seen her heaven. We can only imagine what the rest of it is like.
During a part of Jane’s working career she held jobs as a manufacturer’s representative. This kept her on the road a lot. At that time there were few women doing such work. Since many of the sales reps traveled the same routes, their paths often crossed and a unique camaraderie developed. During her travels she and another young woman became friends. Whenever possible they would share a room.
On one occasion they booked a room on the second floor at the front of the York Hotel. As they were changing their clothing, her roommate remarked that the shades were open and probably should be closed. Jane said that because they were on the second floor no one on the street could see them. Her friend laughed and mentioned the firemen in their firehouse across the street. Their dormitory was also on the second floor.
Closing their shades turned out to be a good idea.
The first time she told this story, it was the police department. That makes more sense to me now. The memory does play tricks on you as you gain more experience and the mind begins to close up shop. #412
for all of the things you taught me - self-reliance, integrity, honor, truthfulness, manners, respect of my elders, respect for others who are different than me, the value of reading, how to make do, selective perception, obedience and rebellion, live my own life, etc.
As mentioned in at least one previous post, mom was not an easy person to love, but love her I did. It seemed better to visit infrequently, rather than deal with her staunch protection of her world. The sad part is understanding that she believed she had to protect it. She carried a lot of vengeful baggage aimed at those she believed had wronged her during her life. Most of those "wrongs" occurred from the day she was born until the "perpetrators" passed away. Even with their passing she could not let it go.
From my perspective, the only people she ever loved left her alone to fend for herself. Her father was her guiding light and pillar of strength. His untimely passing did not help. However, in a way, it did. She recognized that she was the only one left to protect herself. So she set about doing just that. Although she may have been small in stature, she made up for it in her chutzpah and psychological armor. She could be real terror when she felt it necessary.
There is no doubt she believed, as do I, that she did her best for my brother and me. I will always treasure the times that we could talk about her life. I am glad I was able to capture many of the stories of her life. (You can read some of them under the label, Jane.)
So, Mom, now that you have transitioned on to the next series of missions, I am sure they will be just what you need. After all, you will still be in charge of your own destiny. Perhaps our paths will cross again in a future life.
Mom passed away this afternoon. I talked with my brother a little while ago this evening. He recounted his day
He got a call around 6 AM this morning saying that mom had fallen out of her bed. The nurse found her on the floor. Everyone is puzzled about how that happened in her weakened condition. She needed help to hold a small glass that was only half full of water. There were also low rails on her bed. They did a careful examination of her prior to putting her back in her bed. When she was put back into the bed they put the full rails up. There appeared to be no injuries or pain. They asked what she was doing. She said she was trying to go home.
Keith did make his usual morning visit and spent time with her as usual. She was weak and did talk with him for a while. He has been sitting with her and holding her hand every time he has visited. He finally told her he loved her and that he was going to leave so she could get some sleep. She said she loved him too, and closed her eyes.
Later in the afternoon, Keith was called and told she had take a turn for the worse. He left immediately to go to her. She passed away before he could get there. The nurse was with her when she took her last breath. Her passing was very peaceful. She had been there for exactly one month. I hope she is more at peace now. #408
It seemed appropriate to send Mom a plant. She doesn't see well, but somehow there is comfort in doing it. We agreed on a plant since flowers fade so quickly. The one that arrived looks like the one shown below, or so I am told. The primary difference, there is no tray for it. All of the rest arrived-the plant, vase, rocks and fortune cookies. My brother says it looks quite nice. He tells me that mom is doing quite well under the circumstances. She has charmed the staff with her wit. An example: One of the staff told mom that she had a hot date that evening. To which mom replied, "Remember to take your diaphragm." The comment made the rounds within minutes. They were still laughing about it the next day.
She still doesn't eat much. She has been in her bed for about a week and a half. That is not unexpected. Because of that and her thin, frail state she needs a medicated salve for her back.
The staff told my brother that she would have ups and downs. Last Monday was a down day. Since then things have been better. We suspect the downs will get lower. Who knows what this Monday will bring.
The real estate class ended this weekend. As usual it was fantastic. There is something about working with folks so that they discover things about themselves they may not even have suspected. What a high when someone suddenly gets it. I wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything. Well almost anything. hee hee.
I hope all is well with you. Please continue to...
Serve with integrity, care about those you serve and share the love in your heart. #406
Call one was to confirm that he had been in touch with a hospice provider concerning mom. The procedure was for them to confer with the doctor to confirm mom's condition and then to talk with Keith about the service to be provided. He gave them the go ahead. All of this took place prior to his making his daily visit to see mom. Everything seemed in order and I was pleased to learn of his progress. After all, the palliative order had indicated that mom had leukemia with the stage being (end). In plainer English that translates to terminal. A sad diagnosis, but not unexpected.
Call two came after his visit to see mom. The difference between how she looked and acted on Sunday had deteriorated some 60% (his words) by Monday. He likened her appearance to the body of King Tut. She had wasted away considerably over night. Her voice was very weak. Her breathing was shallow and through her mouth.
He was able to discuss the situation with one of the nurses from the facility. This particular nurse had been a hospice nurse and is well aware of the signs. While she could not legally inform him of her condition, she did not dissuade him about the next steps he might consider. He understood and made arrangements with a funeral home. Mom will probably finish this life's mission relatively soon. He learned that the hospice process might take longer than mom would survive, so he canceled it. Mom's doctor will be notified of the change in her condition and make the appropriate changes in medications to keep her comfortable.
The nurse also suggested moving mom to a single room. She is currently sharing her room with another woman. That woman's daughter said that it would be better if mom stayed right where she was. The woman's mother apparently gets some comfort from her being there. My brother was most appreciative of the daughter's approach.
So, there you have it. The next stage in mom's mission accomplishment. We will now await the call. I just hope the bamboo plant we had sent will arrive in time. I just got word that it has been shipped from LA.
Thank you all for your kind words, prayers, good thoughts and loving energy. #402
When I prepared posting #396 it was a couple of months ago. I pick these messages at random from a 3X5 card collection that a friend had typed for me many years ago. I set this one aside on the desktop of my computer. At the time I knew Mom was not doing too well. She was beginning to wither away, a choice I believe she made probably at some other level than consciously. If it is a conscious choice she does not voice it, and would probably vehemently deny it.
The plan to spend a week in El Paso was in place. The tickets were purchased and the bags packed, when I got the call from my brother that Mom had fallen and broken her shoulder. There are a number of postings that describe the events of that week.
Since then things have changed. The first phone call from my brother was a report that mom had spent the entire afternoon at the doctor's office and hadn't been seen. This happened on Monday, March 3rd, her first day. When I left her that day she was in the activity room with most of the 46 other residents, all of them in wheel chairs.
The next day she was concerned because she was with a roommate who did not want a roommate. Her next concern was being left in the basement all night. Then she reported she was taken to the second floor and left there. My brother explained to her that it was impossible for that to happen. Mom would not believe him and he had to call one of the staff to explain it to her. The facility is a single story building built on a slab.
The next thing my brother had to deal with was signing the document acknowledging that Mom is being considered terminal because she refuses to eat or drink much. If you saw her you would think she was anorexic. He is really vexed over this. He sees it as signing her death warrant. Mentally he realizes she is terminal, but emotionally he is upset. This is sadly ironic considering how they learned to deal with each other. They were almost always at odds over just about everything. Each made every effort to protect her/his personal egoic position.
He did get reassurance from the staff that Mom would not be allowed to suffer. He did get an unofficial prognostication on her remaining time. While they cannot predict accurately, one of the staff members said in similar situations the remaining time was one to two months. Upon telling me this, my brother indicated that Mom would stick around for another 25 years. We both recognized this for what it was - a method to deal with the reality of Mom's impending passing.
So this brings me back to the posting of a couple of days ago plus some other experiences with older folks. It seems that at some point in our lives we realize it is time to let go. Our individual missions are completed and it is time to go. Since there is a cultural problem with suicide or euthanasia, we take our dying seriously and into our own hands. We survivors might do well to ponder this.
Thank you for your patience and forbearance while I vented. My brother isn't the only one having to deal with this.
UPDATE
Within the hour after posting this, I called my brother for an update. He informed me that the doctor had more blood tests done, due to Mom's elevated white cell count. The results came back positive for Leukemia. I will have to do some research to determine the prognosis.
She is still trying to figure out how to get the attention she so sorely needs. She still laments to my brother that she was an only child and that no one ever wanted her. Both of those comments bear some truth. It is absolutely true, she was an only child. As for being wanted, probably only by her father. #399
While in El Paso last week, my brother brought out some old photos. He was sure I would want some of them. He was right. I don't have too many of Mom. The last three were taken by me, I have no idea who took the others.
The first three photos are of her grandmother, father and mother. As I have mentioned in earlier postings mom didn't get along so well with her grandmother and mother. Her father was her primary "protector". He is also for whom I was named. I didn't know we had a photo of him. I'm glad to have it and share it.
The 1937 photo was taken when she was pregnant with my younger brother. The 1947 photo was taken in when we lived in Penbrook, PA. That was the time that mom was selling on the road. In 1955 she and her second and last husband John were stationed in Bamberg, Germany. 1957 found them in Junction City, KS. John was stationed at Ft. Riley. I was in the Air Force then and was able to visit them there.
In 1958 John was assigned to Ft. Bliss, TX. They rented a home until 1962 when they purchased their home in the Northeast section of El Paso. John passed away quite a while ago and mom remained in the home until early in March. I took the two photos in 2006 and my brother took the one in 2008.
By her own reckoning, her life wasn't as good as she wanted. She did tell us that she never expected her life to end as it is now. She wasn't sure how it would have been, just something different. I think she expected to die in her own bed. Now she is living in a nursing facility where she can be taken care of 24/7. She will be receiving much better care than my brother and I are able to give her. I hope these photos are helpful.
When Jane was in her mid teens her father, Jack, became ill with TB. This was a sad time for Jane. She was very close to her father and to this day believes he was the only one in her family who truly loved her.
Her father taught her many things, primarily to live with integrity and be self-sufficient. He was the one person to whom she could turn. He was the one person who stepped in to “protect” her from the demands of her mother and grandmother. They always wanted her to act more like a lady. Jane, the self-professed tomboy, would rather climb trees, roller skate and walk along fences.
Once her father was diagnosed with TB, he was sent to a sanitarium for treatment. It was too far from Jane’s home for visits. When he left, she never saw him again until his funeral. Her mother immediately made arrangements for Jane to go to a Catholic boarding school for girls. Her dad told her mother that such a decision would be regretted in the future. Her mother, Mary, sent her any way. Later in Mary’s life she did come to regret it.
After Jane was in the school, Mary traveled to New York City to visit her brother Lee. She left around Thanksgiving and was sent back before Christmas. From Jane’s perspective, her mother was not an easy person to get along with. Somewhere along the line Jane adopted the very behaviors she disliked in her mother. She won’t be able to learn that until she returns to the astral plane. Maybe that was part of her life’s mission. #391
Monday was the last day in El Paso. We decided that mom would be better off in a nursing facility. We selected Mountain Villa. It was close, small and they had an opening. It isn't a grand palatial establishment, but it does serve the purpose. The staff is capable, competent and seem to be quite caring and prepared to serve.
Mom would frequently make the statement that she never expected her life to end up this way. She wasn't sure how it would turn out, but something other than this.
She has not been the easiest person to be with. She has needed assistance to move around the house. It is particularly difficult for her to get to the bathroom. My brother and I had been taking turns particularly at night. By Saturday night we only need to get up three times during the night. Sunday night was a different story. She must have needed to go every 15 to 30 minutes.
It certainly tested the concept to serve, care and share the love in your heart. It is also interesting how the body and mind respond to fatigue.
We took her to Mountain Villa early Monday morning. Keith then took be to the airport and went off to take of things to get mom's ID card up to date and a few other administrative things. He called today to bring me up to date. She indicated that she had to go to the doctor's office and they let her sit in the waiting room until 5 PM. She never did see the doctor. The interesting thing is that the doctors only come to the facility on Wednesdays. The other thing that shows how her dementia is growing worse was when Keith was leaving to go home. She said that he ought to leave because it was a long drive back to Harrisburg. Huh? We used to live in Harrisburg, PA, but haven't lived there for years. The mind does play strange tricks. I was able to get a few more stories while I was there. They will be posted soon. Stay tuned. #390
Here it is Saturday afternoon. I just got a phone call from Maryann reminding me of the KU and Texas A & M basketball game. I look forward to watching the second half.
Now to the situation here in El Paso. On Thursday we did some research to find a nursing home for mom. Her condition is such that Keith cannot look after her 24/7. She needs that kind of assistance to get around the house. Her usual round is from bed, to bathroom, to living room, not necessarily in that order. It is quite sad to see a woman who has prided herself in being so self-sufficient, become dependent on others. We were able to find a home that has space and is nearby her home.
Yesterday we took mom to visit the nursing home. It is a rather small one with only 48 beds. When we entered there were a lot of folks in wheel chairs right near the front desk. The director gave us a tour and then we talked about the situation. He took some information from us. They do have a program where after two weeks mom could come back to her home for a couple of days. I’m not sure whether this is a good idea or not.
Mom has been realizing that when she leaves she will probably never come back to the one place she has been able to call home. She is also worried about my brother being alone. It is a rather sad situation here in El Paso. Mom has always been in control of her life, and led an independent life. She will miss that. She had a couple of comments about the Villa:
• I hope they don’t serve just Mexican food. • It is rather dark and dingy there. (She has macular degeneration and has minimal peripheral vision.) • I hope I have a nice roommate. (She has always prided herself in being able to talk to anyone.)
So on Monday morning we will take her to the Villa and get her settled. Keith will then take me to the airport and I will look forward to being greeted by Maryann.
The visit has been very busy and tiring. As I mentioned in the last posting, my mother, Jane, had fallen and broken her shoulder. At her age she is not very steady on her feet. With her left arm out of commission. Consequently, she needs additional help to get around, even going to the bathroom.
For years she has changed her internal time clock by staying awake at night, sleeping by day and napping at night. While she cannot see very well she keeps her bedroom TV on all night. Because her sight is impaired she cannot always find the volume button and the sound may get very loud.
Both Monday and Tuesday nights I had the night shift to help mom. Every 1.5 to 2 hours she would call and I would wake up and heed the call. Tonight my brother is on call.
Monday afternoon she kept an appointment with her regular doctor to have a follow-up blood test. Her white cell and platelet counts were very high. This led to an appointment with an oncologist.
Tuesday she had a follow-up appointment to see the orthopedist about her shoulder. Upon arrival at the clinic we learned that the appointment had not been made so we had to turn around and go home. We will have to phone the orthopedic clinic to determine what happened and get another appointment if needed. We think it is.
Today we kept the appointment with the oncologist. The doctor was extremely helpful. He was somewhat concerned with the platelet count. It was 10 times the normal count, and could lead to clotting. This could lead to a stroke. Due to her age we made the decision to do nothing. I was brought very close to tears as mom was answering some of the doctor’s questions. It was obvious that some dementia is present. I was reminded of my late mother-in-law’s dementia condition. It was a very sad moment.
Tomorrow we will have to discover how my brother can get some outside help. We don’t think mom will ever regain any form of stable mobility. The future is going to be interesting to say the least.
More to follow. Please remember to… Serve others, care about those you serve and share the love in your heart. #388
Wednesday afternoon, I received a call from my brother. His mood was less than cordial. More like a no nonsense, this important. He demanded we do an audio chat. I immediately signed on to our IM and we had the following discussion.
He had had very little sleep since 0530 the previous morning.
Around 0130 that morning he had been up because mom fell and had to be taken to the emergency room.
She had a broken shoulder.
The orthopedist could not operate on her to set the shoulder due to her age(94).
The routine blood work indicated her white cell count was higher than they liked, but since they did not have any other tests with which to compare it, they were not sure why the count was that high.
Her platelet count was out of usual boundaries, too. Same scenario as above, nothing with which to compare it.
Another blood test will be taken on Monday next.
She was released and he brought her home.
For the rest of the night she would be up to go to the bathroom. He would have to be up with her to help steady her.
I had already made plans to be there next week. Now we will have some chores to get done. I know my brother will appreciate someone to give him some respite. Mom isn't always the easiest person to get along with. She is still going to the bathroom without his help. The scary part is her instability. He is really concerned that she will fall again and break something else. The bad side to that is the pain she will undergo. The good side to that will be the potential for hospitalization. That may sound rather harsh, but she will have fresh folks looking out for her. My brother would be able to get a good night's sleep too.
Mom's sleeping patterns have been erratic. She goes to bed when she is tired. Lately she spends most of her time in bed. And, she is going to continue with that "schedule".
I look forward to getting more of her stories about her life. I also plan to read back to her the stories she has already provided and shared with you. (See the label, Jane.) #386
Jane’s hair has always been naturally red. It isn’t easy to see that now. After 90+ years it has thinned and grayed. She is relatively short of stature. Part of her ancestral heritage is Irish, and that may explain the hair color. As she was growing up, she learned that the “ladies of the evening” would color their hair red. Consequently, Jane was shunned by lots of folks. Her own mother was reluctant to be seen in public with her and the boys were not allowed to take her to the movies, even on a Saturday afternoon.
Because of this and the family in which she was raised, she became a person to be reckoned with. At that time the phrase “my way or the highway,” had yet to be coined. However, that is part and parcel of her view of the world. She adopted the concept that the best defense is a good offense and has lived by that rule ever since. She has been known to brag about it.
It is rather easy to see why she developed her defensiveness. It came about because of her need to overcome the adversity of not being wanted. Thinking about her upbringing it is easy to see how she came to adapt this pattern of behavior. During her early years the only person in the family who truly loved her was her father. Unfortunately, he was on the road a lot due to his work. When he was home he would do what he could to provide a modicum of protection for her.
He died of TB when she was a teenager. That was quite a blow to her. Fortunately, she had developed a pattern of behavior that allowed her to function reasonably well in a hostile world. #370
The dog appeared one snowy day. Jane’s father, Jack, her Uncle Lee and her Grandfather saw it lying in the snow and took pity on it. The three of them decided it would be a good idea to feed it. With that in mind, they raided the refrigerator. Unfortunately, the pork chops were for supper. Needless to say, they caught hell from Grandma.
Apparently the dog belonged to a farmer who lived nearby. Jack returned the dog to the farmer, who indicated that he didn’t mind if the dog left the farm from time to time. Jack and the farmer became good friends.
It must have been around 3 AM when the family received a phone call from the policeman who was the beat cop for their neighborhood. The officer was being held up against the telephone pole where the call box was by the dog. Did I mention that the dog was a rather large St. Bernard? The gist of the conversation was, “Jack, come get your GD dog away from me!” After they were more properly introduced the dog and the cop became quite close. The dog would accompany the officer on his appointed rounds.
Jane was six or seven when the dog arrived on the scene. They became quite close. This was the time when she was quite ill and was bedridden for a number of months. During this time the dog was allowed to visit her in her room. It was also at this time when the dog went missing. No one, not even the farmer, had seen the dog for several weeks. Jack finally tracked the dog down in the poorer part of town. The dog was chained in a man’s yard. Jack confronted him and got the dog back. The man made some lame excuse that the dog had wondered on to his property and he had a right to keep him. We don’t the exact words Jack uttered, but it is believed that it had something to do with living a longer, pain free life.
Jack took the dog home. As soon as the front door was opened the dog bounded up three flights of stairs, ran into Jane’s room and leapt up on her bed, landing squarely upon Jane’s small, frail body. Everyone was afraid the dog would crush her. It did not. It knew just how to lie there and put no weight on her at all. Jane loved that dog. The feeling was mutual.
She never told me what happened to the dog. Perhaps I’ll remember to ask her some time. #366
Jack was Jane’s father. She and her family lived in a duplex, and shared the unit with another family. They were Protestants, while Jane’s family were Roman Catholics. The neighbors would castigate Jack for not only being Catholic, but drinking too. Jack would take it goodnaturedly.
You might have guessed that since it was a duplex the second floor master bedrooms shared a common wall. Edgar, the next-door neighbor had a serious illness which required bed rest for a considerable amount of time. Edgar’s family did not own a radio, the only form of electronic entertainment at the time. Jack decided to do something about it. He ran wires from his bedroom window into Edgar’s bedroom window to hook up a speaker. This provided some diversion during Edgar’s recuperation. It was an act of kindness that was much appreciated by Edgar, who told Jack, “You are more of a Christian than I am.”
It is interesting to note that Edgar had managed to impregnate the wife of another neighbor. Jane never told me whether that was before or after Edgar’s illness. #361
One of Jane’s close childhood friends was a young Jewish boy named Bunny. Jane and Bunny were good friends partly because they were the outcasts, he being Jewish and Jane having red hair. At least that is Jane’s perception of the time and it is probably very close to the truth. Jane and Bunny used to enjoy playing poker on the front porch on Sunday afternoons. The other neighborhood children were only allowed to sit on their front porches in their Sunday go-to-meeting clothes. The other children were somewhat jealous about the differences.
Bunny’s grandfather was a Rabbi, his father owned the movie theater and his mother took care of the family and the family business.
Now to get to the real story, how Bunny (early teens) helped his older (mid to late teens) sister. She was preparing to go to a fraternity party that evening. She washed hair, put it up in combs and curlers. She then turned on heat lamp to dry it. Unfortunately her hair caught on fire. You can just imagine, two kids at home alone, one screaming with hair on fire and her younger brother trying to figure out what to do. He came up with a solution. Bunny put damp towel over his sister’s head. Covering her head with a towel was a good move. Using a wet towel was a bad move. Sister got steamed and burned.
Mom and dad were at work. His grandfather, the Rabbi, was out of town. He managed to find Father Welsh the Catholic priest and Jane’s father. They tore up the street and saved Bunny’s sister. She learned a lesson and so did Bunny.
Bunny’s parents were so appreciative, at Christmas they sent $300 to Saint Patrick’s Catholic Church because of Father Welch's quick thinking that saved their daughter.
The part of Carlisle, where Jane grew up was being developed at that time. As communities do, Carlisle began to expand into the surrounding countryside that consisted mostly of farms. However, near their home was a church that had been there for many years. It was a church for members of the black community.
During the summer time most folks kept their windows open to try to keep cool. Jane remembers the sounds of singing and praying on many of those hot, summer Sunday evenings. An interesting insight into the “race relations” of the time was the special dinners hosted by members of the congregation. Every Saturday evening, the church members would have a special dinner for their white neighbors. The event was called White Night. The only members of the congregation who were at the church were those who were involved in the preparation and serving of the meal.
Mom never did say if she or her family went to any of the dinners. I suspect that her dad took her. She did make an effort by example, for my brother and me, to minimize the prejudice of the day. Too bad that we were still influenced by the more insidious aspects of racist acculturation. #339
I was in the midst of dusting the shelves of the bookcase, when I took some time to look at the photos I was dusting. 
[Left side of bookcase] The photo of famille Duez, taken in their home in Dijon, France, brought back many fond memories. It brought a smile to my face and joy into my heart. The amitie stitchery was a gift from Majo to Maryann. it is a sign of thier eternal friendship. There are photos here of friends, children, relatives and their children. There is even a photo of Maryann and me from a number of years ago. Do you see the photo of Hazel? It is near the Angel pillow. Both of these items are special. The pillow is a handmade gift from Shannon. Thanks. Oh, and there are books, too.
The center section holds some special photos too. You can probably guess that there are photos of Maryann and me as children. The small photo of the young men in uniform show my grandsons who decided to join the military after high school. The Marine will be returning from Iraq soon, the Sailor will be going there in April. My grand daughter is also among the gallery. This where the music CD's are kept. Oh, and there are books, too.
[Right side of bookcase] Here we have the complete, up-to-date collection of Sue Grafton novels. We do like mysteries. This section is next to my computer work station. Among the many items there are two which I am quite proud to have earned. One is my certificate designating me a Second Degree Reiki practioner. The other is the only golfing trophy I have ever earned. It was given at the RMPO annual golf tourney in Augusta, GA, last September. It recognizes the MOST ATHLETICALLY CHALLENGED TEAM. I did post a photo of it back then.
