#863 Truths known only to an avid golfer!

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Don 't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your
mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls.
If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there. 

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors.

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot. 

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a 30 foot putt. For a 10.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
It's not a gimme if you're still away. 

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time. 

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two double bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint

It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 AM to mow the grass.

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you spend longer praying than you would do in church.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are....that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of
your life.
Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse)... 

It takes longer to learn to be a good  golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't  get to ride around on a cart, drink  beer, and eat hot dogs when you are performing brain surgery !!!

#863

#862 Here and Now

Living in the here and now has been touted by a number of folks. It would seem that the only reality we experience is the reality of the moment. To get a better idea of how this occurs, pay attention to a child. Watching our three year old grandson brought this home to me. He is totally immersed in whatever he is doing at the moment. Others can be included, but he is in the moment at all times.

It is a treat to observe him and participate in his activities when appropriate. I prefer to observe. He is learning about his environment, language, relationships, things, and people. Some of the lessons are more difficult and others seem to come naturally. It is particularly fascinating when he repeats words, phrases or actions a number of times. These are the times he is making that reality his own. These are the times when he is learning the most. These are the times that others need not necessarily intrude. What a treat to be able to observe and learn.

The other morning as I was stirring for the day the thought crossed my mind that there just might be another time in life when a person can live in the "here and now". That time occurs as we are "advancing in our maturity". I have had the privilege to exist in this lifetime for seven decades. As each day passes I am made aware of the "here and now" when I am unable to remember things/activities/comments that I just made. That "here and now" has passed and I am in the current "here and now". Even as I am writing this I am aware of the words in the paragraphs above. They are part of my "here and now" for the moment.a  Will I remember it ten minutes from now? Probably. But, only because I will place a reference to it at a place in cyber-space that I visit regularly.

As I am writing this there is some very pleasant jazz being played on iTunes. I do remember how to access it so all is not lost. I do get concerned at times when some things, like peoples' names are not readily accessible. Thank goodness Maryann and I are able to help the other fill in the blanks. However, that sometimes takes a day or two.

So rather than stew about it, I will just remember the example young Eli is setting for me, the quiet jazz, the click of the keys on the keyboard, etc. and all will be well. That is when I do remember. Now to enjoy the "here and now" and rejoice that I can.

Love, peace and prosperity to all who chance upon these words.

#862

#861 Retired Green Beret Shoots Intruder, Gets Court Martial

Thanks, Vern.

     

Retired Green Beret shoots intruder, gets court martial.

BREVARD , Jan. 19, 2008 – Retired Army Green Beret Smokey Taylor got his court martial this weekend and came away feeling good about it.  Taylor, at age 80 the oldest member of Chapter XXXIII of the Special Forces Association, was on trial by his peers under the charge of “failing to use a weapon of sufficient caliber” in the shooting of an intruder at his home in Knoxville, TN. in December. The entire affair, of course, was very much tongue in cheek.  Taylor had been awakened in the early morning hours of Dec. 17, 2007, when an intruder broke into his home.  He investigated the noises with one of his many weapons in hand.  When the intruder threatened him with a knife,Taylor warned him, then brought his .22 caliber pistol to bear and shot him right between the eyes. “That boy had the hardest head I’ve ever seen,” Taylorsaid after his trial. “The bullet bounced right off.” The impact knocked the would-be thief down momentarily. He crawled out of the room then got up and ran out the door and down the street. Knoxville police apprehended him a few blocks away and he now awaits trial in the Knox County jail. The charges against Taylorwere considered to be serious. He is a retired Special Forces Weapons Sergeant with extensive combat experience during the wars in Korea and Vietnam.  “Charges were brought against him under the premise that he should have saved the county and taxpayers the expense of a trial,” said Chapter XXXIII President Bill Long ofAsheville. “He could have used a .45 or .38. The .22 just wasn’t big enough to get the job done.” Taylor defense attorney, another retired Weapons Sergeant, disagreed. He saidTaylor had done the right thing in choosing to arm himself with a .22. "If he’d used a .45 or something like that the round would have gone right through the perp, the wall, the neighbor’s wall and possibly injured some innocent child asleep in its bed,” he said. “I believe the evidence shows that Smokey Taylor exercised excellent judgment in his choice of weapons. He did nothing wrong, and clearly remains to this day an excellent weapons man.” Counsel for the defense then floated a theory as to why the bullet bounced off the perp’s forehead. 
 "He was victimized by old ammunition,” he said, “just as he was in Korea and again in Vietnam, when his units were issued ammo left over from World War II.” Taylor said nothing in his own defense, choosing instead to allow his peers to debate the matter. After the trial, he said the ammunition was indeed old and added the new information that the perp had soiled his pants as he crawled out of the house. "I would have had an even worse mess to clean up if it had gone through his forehead,” Taylor said. “It was good for both of us that it didn’t.” Following testimony from both sides, Taylor was acquitted of the charges and was given a round of applause.
Meanwhile, back in KnoxCounty, the word is out:Don’t go messing with Smokey Taylor. He just bought a whole bunch of fresh ammo.

Tribune Editor Bill Fishburne is a member of the Larry Thorne Chapter XXXIII of the Special Forces Association.

#861

#860 The Purpose of a Dog

Thanks for sharing, Grier.

The purpose  of a dog! Don’t miss  the text at the bottom. 

A  Dog's Purpose ?

   (from a  6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had  been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish  Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron,  his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were  all very attached to Belker, and they were  hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker  and found he was dying of cancer. I told the  family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and  offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for  the old dog in their home.

As we made  arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought  it would be good for six-year-old Shane to  observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane  might learn something from the  experience.

The next day, I felt the  familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family  surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting  the old dog for the last time, that I wondered  if he understood what was going on. Within a few  minutes, Belker slipped peacefully  away.

The little boy seemed to accept  Belker's transition without any difficulty or  confusion. We sat together for a while after  Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad  fact that animal lives are shorter than human  lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly,  piped up, ''I know why.''

Startled, we  all turned to him. What came out of his mouth  next stunned me. I'd never heard a more  comforting explanation. It has changed the way I  try and live.

He said,''People are born  so that they can learn how to live a good life  -- like loving everybody all the time and being  nice, right?'' The Six-year-old  continued, 

''Well,  dogs already know how to do that, so they don't  have to stay as long.''

Live  simply.

Love generously.

Care  deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if  a dog was the teacher you would learn things  like:

When loved ones come home, always  run to greet them.

Never pass up the  opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow  the experience of fresh air and the wind in your  face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take  naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run,  romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention  and let people touch you.

Avoid biting  when a simple growl will do.

On warm  days, stop to lie on your back on the  grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water  and lie under a shady tree.

When you're  happy, dance around and wag your entire  body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long  walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to  be something you're not.

If what you want  lies buried, dig until you find it.

When  someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit  close by, and nuzzle them  gently.  

  

  

-- 

      There  comes a time in life, when you walk away from  all the drama

and people who create it. You  surround yourself with people who

make you  laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good.  So, love

the people who treat you right.  Think good thoughts for the ones

who don't.  Life is too short to be anything but happy.  Falling down

is part of LIFE...Getting back  up is  LIVING...

Have a  great life.  

#860