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Thursday, June 12, 2008

#442 IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVISORY

I'’ve never seen ‘truth’ presented in such an honest, sincere and succinct manner…

-- --

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask
your doctor or pharmacist about Red Wine.

Red Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better
and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Red Wine can help ease you out of your shyness
and let you tell the world that you're ready and
willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Red Wine almost
immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you
can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from
living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past
and you will discover many talents you never knew
you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Red Wine.

Red Wine may not be right for everyone.

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use
Red Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting,
incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control,
loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity,
delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache,
dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke
and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or
Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:
The consumption of Red Wine may make you think
you are whispering when you are not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING:
The consumption of Red Wine is a major factor in
dancing like an idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of Red Wine may cause you to tell
your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of Red Wine may cause you to
think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of Red Wine may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
four in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of Red Wine may make you think you
can logically converse with members of the opposite sex
without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of Red Wine may create the
illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better
looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE
WITH RED WINE!!!


#442

5 comments:

Polly said...

IT's TRUE!!!!

(hic...burrpp..hic)

Hale McKay said...

That's why I stick to Wild Turkey - I don't wanna do dumb things - I just pass out!

Skunkfeathers said...

I do enough stupid stuff without adding to my repertoire with red (or any) wine ;)

Bird said...

red wine is good for your cholesterol - honest - the doc said so. also for your blood pressure - and can help you if you are anemic.


red wine, in appropriate quantities, can be virtuous.

i need some more red wine.

hiccup.

Karen said...

Love red wine, but my fav is Asti Spumoni!