Serve with integrity. Care about those you serve. Share the love in your heart & soul.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

#415 AARP Forum

I doubt that any of these apply to you and I KNOW they can't possible apply to ME; but they will be fun to think about when we are looking at others!

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.

What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt.'

How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses

Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'



Skunkfeathers said...

Contrary to some folks' belief, I did NOT write any of those...tho' I may be living proof of them in a very few years...

bronxbt said...

nothing like reading some posts from dear friends early in my work day... only to stumble across this one and i've now experience yet again; coffee outta my nose.

thanks jack...


The Phosgene Kid said...

And conversations usually start out with, "Remember when...?"