#135 Never mess with an MP

This one was too funny to just read, laugh at and then trash. Being a retired Military Police Officer, I can readily understand the Sergeant's situation. Enjoy!! That's an order. lol

An MP Sergeant stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the MP. The violator demands to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the MP calmly tells him of the red light violation. The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the MP's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The MP, being a professional, takes it all in stride, figuring "battleship mouth and rowboat ass". The tirade goes on without the Army cop saying anything. When he gets done with writing the District Court (Magistrate's) citation he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the citation. He then hands it to the "Violator." The guy takes the citation angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.

The Sergeant then removes his sunglasses, gets in the middle of the guy's face and said, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember you're an asshole!"

Three months later they are in the U.S. Magistrate's Court. The "Violator" has such a bad record he is about to lose his license and has hired an attorney to represent him. On the stand the MP testifies to seeing the man run the red light.

Under cross-examination, the defense attorney asks, "Sergeant, is this a reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued my client?"

The MP Sergeant responds, "Yes sir, this is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

Attorney: "Sergeant, is there any particular marking or notation on this citation you don't normally make?"

MP: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an 'AH', underlined."

Attorney: "What does the AH stand for, Sergeant?"

MP: "Aggressive and Hostile, Sir. It's a reminder to me - in the event of a hearing - that the offender was also aggressive and hostile."

Attorney: "Aggressive and hostile?"

MP: "Yes, Sir?"

Attorney: "Sergeant, are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole?"

MP: "Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do!"


#135