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Sunday, July 26, 2009

#622 Grandparents:

Thanks, Nancy L.

For those who are, enjoy, and if you're not, enjoy anyway!

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" You will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel a round her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather 's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'I and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck.." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.




Sarah Sofia Ganborg said...

Hi Jack, how are you?
I'm mostely renopvating and douing garden work. Just cute the road to the south side of the farm free. looks like a fairytale-land!

The jokes here are very sweet and congratulations to the two of you on your wedding anniversary! Well done for staying together all these years and for being loyal to oneanother! sadly not too many people do that anymore...

I also read your post re the wake up call.
You know that might also be something for our Good-to-know-blog. Have you seen what ExRanger posted recently? Pretty much the same kind of thing and when you look on his blog, you'll see he had adjusted his lifestyle to the current situation and to what we might expect for the future.

I haven't seen the whole movie, just saw a part of the trailer which you also have on your blog on another blog and while it isn't exactly news for me (I'm a Greenpeace-member anmd am also involved in other things...) it's definitely a wake up-call in general and as many people as possible should see it.
Thanks for writing about it!

Sarah Sofia Ganborg said...

sorry about all the typos in the comment above, am just completely dehydrated and knocked out after clearing that road...

Puss-in-Boots said...

What a wonderful post, Jack. Ain't it all just typical of kids and grandparents.

I remember when my eldest granddaughter was 6 (she's now almost 20). I said something to her parents about my mother. Stacey's eyes widened in awe as she asked, "Is your mother still alive?"

Thanks for the cheery Monday morning laughs. Have a good week.

Christina said...

cute post!

Angela Marie said...

Kids say the cutest things... and expressions.

I have read this before, but it is worth reading again and again. I especially like grandma kissing the toilet paper goodbye.

Too cute!