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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

#514 Corporate Consolidation

The following information was sent to me via email. I am NOT a financial advisor. Like all things that come from the internet view the following with a high degree of skepticism. The primary investment guideline I try to follow is buy low, sell high.

(Caveat: My thanks to the original author who is unknown to me. I am not sharing this for any monetary gain.)


With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of these expected mergers so you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in later this year:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa .

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will> become: Knott NOW!

And finally...

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:



bronxbt said...

eee gads that is funneh.

thanks for the smiles, jack.
i've been missing those for a day or so now.

take care,

Fred said...

Good ones. I especially liked the FedUP.

Skunkfeathers said...

LOL *Snort Chortle*

Karen said...


Karen said...

btw, I copied your "I support Barack Obama" for my sidebar, as well!

Thx in advance!! :o)

The Real Mother Hen said...

ha this is so funny, when I got to #9 I just fell off my chair, that's a great one.

I just clicked on your Youtube video and played the jazz again. Thanks for all the info. I finally found their site, looks like they have 7 albums? Anyway, I'll ask my Japanese friends to take a look and send me some! YEAH!!! Really thank you for highlighting them. (take a bow)

The Phosgene Kid said...

Fresh out of tears over the situation, might as well laugh!

The Phosgene Kid said...

There's a book entitled "Independents Day," by Lou Dobbs. There are some interesting revelations in the book

Angela Marie said...

That was funny! We need some humor at a time like this...


P.S. How many days til we vote!?!

Christina said...

Have seen this before, but thatnks for another laugh!! hee hee!!!

Karen said...

Hey Jack, how are ya!! :o)

The Phosgene Kid said...

What've you been up to??

Peter said...

Buy low, until there is a substantial gain, use someone else's money.