On my recent trip to El Paso, my brother and I got to discussing politics. It was the time when the former Governor of New York decided to step down. We lamented the fact that Integrity has gone missing. Not just in the lives of our elected and appointed leaders, but in most folks lives. I'm not sure if I'm being cynical or I've become jaded. In either case there seems to be a dearth of integrity. I would like to think that folks are getting tired of looking for someone else to blame for their misfortunes. (The irony struck me that, with this posting, I might be doing the same thing. I hope not.)
There was a time when your word was your bond and you could do business on a handshake. Those times are still here but they seem to be few and far between.
The book I am currently reading is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. His premise revolves around the concept of ego. (Freud may not have done us a favor by describing the concept. At least we have a word to describe a part of all of us.) According to Tolle, we are all caught up in defending our egos and escaping from the here and now. We spend so much time in defense of our ego that we believe that is reality. We use our emotions to support our ego and attack those who are different. I recommend the book to you all. You can then draw your own conclusions. Try to stay centered on the present.
The other concept that came to mind was Compassion. As I was listening to Mom lament about her life, the injustices others had done to her, how folks long dead had spread malicious lies about her, I couldn't help but realize she was a prime example of many of the things Tolle has to say. I am unable to remember when Mom ever demonstrated compassion. This is probably a result of selective perception and remembrance on my part. It saddens me to come to this realization. Her life is the one she chose, and I suspect that one of the lessons she was to learn in this lifetime is the effects of carrying grudges and not demonstrating compassion. It must have been a tough lesson, because she is still struggling with it.
Just some thoughts from a son who is finally learning to love and forgive her. I know she has done the best she could given her life plan.
Thank you all for your patience, love, caring, and above all, your integrity and compassion.
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10 comments:
"Integrity has gone missing."
That sure has come to light in this presidential campaign.
May be something to all that, I've never been good at analyzing others motivations.
Sad about your mom. I can't say I ever really understood mine, but I do miss her.
Well-written, well-timed piece, Jack. Speaking for myself (my pet rock hasn't learned spokesperson duties as yet), I can say that I haven't always measured up in words and deeds, but as I grow older, the effort seems more worth the making. Where I have stood to my word and promise (recently noted on my blog), my sense of loss is more than offset by my pride of having been as good as my word. It may mean something only to me in the end, but mean something it does.
Hope your mom is ok...
good post Jack...
something to really ponder the rest of the day.
Lately, I have had the opportunity to spend some quality time with my own mother (who, thank God, is in good health). I have done a lot of reminising and thanked her for so many good childhood memories. I reminded her of a few of the small consistant things she did for me when she was a young mother. She had forgotten most of them and was so happy to be reminded of such easily forgotten details.
Sorry that was a little off the subject :)
Have a wonderful day Jack
xo Darlene
Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful comments.
So glad you have the opportunity to know your mum before it is too late.
Our forgiveness of our own parents shortcomings reflects on us and therefore them as it shows 'integrity'.
Hopefully my children will forgive me one day too...we are but little people trying to do our best with what we have.
Good post Jack!
How're things going for you??
tpk, things are going well. Thank you for your concern. Mom still believes that they keep her in the basement or on the second floor. This is impossible in a single story building built on a slab.
She also believes that the staff ignores. She was telling my brother that when a staff member was standing next to him. She is legally blind with macular degeneration, so it is possible she doesn't see them. However, she never discusses any conversations.
I'll post more later.
been awhile since i've flown by here. i see things have shifted with your mom. hold the line of integrity and compassion -what else can one do?
word as bond... makes me think of the ancient Greeks - and the guest-host relationship. you had to trust the strangers you met on the road, and you had to offer shelter and food and trust the guest would not take advantage of you. alas, paris violated that law and sent us into a descent - a lack of integrity (and compassion) that has lasted for centuries. (if you care to read it that way.)
people act with integrity,and compassion, and even in doing so, fail miserably. we are so fragile in so many ways, and yet so resilient as well.
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