Inner peace.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."
So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
OK, OK, so a friend passed this on to me. What an interesting way to begin the new year.
Where it lies.
Bill and Bob, longtime golfing buddies, were involved in a match-play contest with the score "all-square" at the 18th tee.
Bill slices his tee shot way left, and the ball finally stops on the cart path. Meanwhile, Bob smashes his first shot straight down the middle.
"Oh well," says Bill, "I should get a free drop from there."
"No way!" says Bob, "We play the ball as it lies."
And so Bill did.
After dropping his opponent on the middle of the fairway, Bill took the golf cart to his lie on the concrete path. Sparks fly from the cart path, as Bill makes a few aggressive practice swings.
Finally, Bill hits the ball off the cart path, leaving a miraculous shot only 3 feet from the pin.
As the two meet in the fairway, Bob comments, "That was a great shot...what club did you use?"
"Your 6 iron," says Bill.
#59
9 comments:
Enjoyed both of those Jack, a laugh is worth it's weight in gold.
Re your comment at holtieshouse;
(insert your favorite symbols for laughter here.)
My favourite symbol would include a "u" as would a lot of other similar words' others would be spelt with an "s" instead of a "z" the really infuriating thing is to argue with my American spell checker when I have no intention of changing humour for humor etc.
oh dear - i have unfinished bottles in my cabinet.
and unmade beds.
and undone laundry.
oh, just a ton of unfinsihed projects and chores.
damn!
i think i'll pass inner peace!
Peter, stick by your language. It is beautiful.
lbb, I do too. However, it is my wife's Baileys. When she is off her current meds and can drink alcohol again, it is waiting for her.
bird, forget the beds and laundry, remember the bottle. Then you can fall into bed. You didn't make it, did you?
Just be sure to replace it when it is empty. tee hee.
If I finish my Glenfiddich 18 + 4 more years on my shelf, then I will have to go and start with the Grad Old Parr, the cubans, etc....
Nice try Jack. I try it too, he,he.
Best wishes for your future too.
wow. i have so much drinking to do, so little time...! whatever shall i do? giggle.
regarding golfing, the last time i tried, i lost the club inna swing and we never found it. s'okay tho, sounded like it hit something devastingly breakable when it hit ground, so it's prolly for the best.
*snerk*
replace the bottle or the bed? or both?
and if i do both, will i then have inner peace?
that's pretty simple then.
i may be alright after all!
hee hee hee!
You pays your money and you takes your choice. tee hee, chortle, giggle,snerk.
i'll drink to that!!! :+)
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