#852 Golf Quotes

Thanks, Vern.

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.. ~ Mickey Mantle Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them ~ Kevin Costner I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best ~ Jack Nicklaus The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H G Wells I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.. ~ Bob Hope While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.. ~ Jack Lemmon You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.. ~ Lee Trevino I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ~ Lee Trevino

#852