It's harder to tell navy from black!
Everything old is new again, but if you wore it before, you're too old to wear it the second time around!
Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them! But your grandchildren are perfect!
Yellow becomes the big color...wall, hair, teeth!
Going out is good...coming home is better!
When people say you look "great" they add for your age!
When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything...movies, hotels, flights.
You forget names but it's OK because other people forgot they ever knew you.
The last two outfits you wore had spots on them.
You ask your husband or friend how your outfit looks and they tell you the truth!
The five pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.
You realize you're never going to be really good at anything... especially golf.
Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.
The things you cared to do you don't care to do... but you care that you don't care to do them anymore.
Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep."
Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident. Now you bring clean underwear in case you have an accident!
You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married." Now I hope they STAY married!
The best place to have a conversation with your husband is in the bathroom...you have his full attention.
Who wants to wear three inch heels anyway?
You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and ''OFF'' switch.
When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.
You use more four letter words..."what"..."when".
Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
Remember when "creepy" meant fabric?
Your husband has a night out with the guys but he's home by 9:00 P.M. ...next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you'd read it.
Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless."
Three of the people in People Magazine you've never heard of (make that "most of the people.")
Your concealer doesn't conceal.
Your lipstick bleeds.
Your mascara clumps and your eyebrows are disappearing and so are your lips.
You don't have hair under your arms and very little on your legs but your chin needs to be plucked daily!
What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
You avoid stairs and if you live in a house with stairs you only go up at night and down in the morning cause your knees don't work and its a heart attack to do more.
Now that your husband has retired, you'd give anything if he'd find a job!
You have three sizes of clothes in your closet...two of which you will never wear and the one left is out of style but who cares any more.
But...old is good in some things: "old songs", "old movies"...
and best of all OLD FRIENDS!!!!!