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Monday, May 11, 2009

#601 A Little Humor to Start the Week

Thanks, Art

Men Are Just Happier People:


· If Laura , Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura , Kate and Sarah.

· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ....

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


· A woman has the last word in any argument.

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, share this with the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ..... and with the men who will enjoy reading it.



Sandee said...

Sounds perfectly logical to me. Bwahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. :)

Christina said...

It all makes sense...

The Real Mother Hen said...

Hahaha I'm laughing hard here. I particularly like the one that says a woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!

Ha, I'm going to print that out and paste it on the wall! :)

Puss-in-Boots said...

At last, Jack...someone who "gets" it. Lol!

Karen said...

Gives new meaning to *fair and balanced* and reiterates there's no such thing as *normal*!!!


Skunkfeathers said... I know another reason (of many) why I'm still single: I DON'T make more than a woman can spend ;) That, and prolly a few (dozen) other reasons...