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Saturday, April 11, 2009

#589 The Night of April 1st


Thanks, Vern.


Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 71 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' and ran off .


And that's when I shot him ...........

The Little Bastard


"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
Benjamin Franklin

#589

8 comments:

Puss-in-Boots said...

Can't say I blame her...

Fred said...

I guess she'll get molested in prison.

The Real Mother Hen said...

hahaha, the moral of the story, don't mess with a 71 year-young woman :)

Jack K. said...

And 71 isn't that old, either. snerx

Merle said...

Hi Jack ~~ I am so behind reading and replying. Loved the jokes and am catching up. Glad you like the dog Faith, walking on his hind legs,As well as the Hypnotist joke.
I am feeling better these days and have enjoyed having my visitors
but got tired, I hope you and your loved ones had a great Easter.
Regards, Merle.

Merle said...

Hello again Jack ~~ I see your latest post is the same number on my last blog on this blog. I had another blog before and that had 260
Bye for now, Best Wishes, Merle.

Sarah Sofia Ganborg said...

funny!
mind you, I knew a lady like that once! But she also came from a rather excentric family: her great-great-great-grandfather was the general who beat the shit out of Napoleon and some others helped starting up the russian revolution...
however, I can insure you Olga only felt like eating tax people alive...!

Peter said...

And he deserved it too!!!!!!!!