#53 Some things never change.

Another message from a friend with a sense of history and humor.

This is purported to have been written by Wellington some 200 years ago while he was fighting a war and the bean counters were hassling him about accounting for some missing jars of raspberry jam, I'm sure you will see the parallel and similarities between some of what he was being frustrated with and similar situations which some of us find ourselves battling in this, the 21st Century. Enjoy!!!!


Would that Wellington but know that the same frustrations he faced in his time would still be with us in an era of jet planes, rockets to the moon, space stations, computers, nanotechnology, laser surgery, etc. Technology may continue to advance, but the bureaucrats will be with us forever.


Gentlemen:

Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your requests, which have been sent by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and thence by dispatch rider to our headquarters.

We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles, and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty’ Government holds me accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, and spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing have been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg your indulgence.

Unfortunately, the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion’s petty cash and there has been hideous confusion as to the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstances, since we are at war with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen at Whitehall.

This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instruction from His Majesty’s Government, so that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of two alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue either one with my best ability, but I cannot do both.

1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London, or, perchance
2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.

Your most obedient servant,

Wellington

#53