#48 Another view of Jane

Jane grew up in a family where she had to develop skills to protect herself at an early age. Consequently she decided that the best defense is a good offense. The least perceived slight can, and usually does, trigger an attack. She has become wary of others. When my first wife met the family for the first time, she was indoctrinated quickly. Not with a personal attack, but an example of what can happen when things don't go according to Jane.

We were visiting the family at Ft. Riley, KS where John was stationed. Mom asked us to accompany her to Junction City to see if an order had come in at one of the local stores. We stood back while mom interacted with the clerk. I realized all too quickly that things were not going too well. At that moment, my defensive mechanisms kicked in and I led my wife to a different part of the store. The store was small enough for us to gain the full effect of the interaction, but not be seen as part of it. (I know, that can be seen as a coward's way out. But, it had always been effective and still was.) Mom proceeded to let the clerk, and at least half of the county know that she was displeased. btw, her language can be quite salty, to say the least.

Now to get to the reasons that I believe led her to this mode. As previously stated, her mother did not treat her well. There was no physical abuse only psychological abuse. At least that is what we would call it today. Heap on top of that, the most important man in her life, her father, died early. I think he passed on while Jane was still a young teenager. From that point on many of the other men who were important to her also abandoned her. My biological father was one of them. There were other men who did much the same. Even Karl whose name I carry left her for another woman. Jane and Karl did not have that happy a marriage. Infidelity didn't make it any easier.

Jane tends to blame other for her misfortunes. (In spite of all of this, she does have an excellent sense of humor.) There will be other postings to look at them.

Using the term weird when explaining her is using her term. She uses it when discussing the adoption of her name for herself with her grandchildren. We do use it quite affectionately. She can also schmooze with the best of them. However, most of it is done in the effort to maintain control.

This is enough for now. More later.
#48